Top 50 Gregory House TV Show inspirational Quotes and Sayings all seasons Hugh Laurie
Hugh was born in Oxford, England on June 11, 1959, to Patricia (Laidlaw) and William George Ranald Mundell “Ran” Laurie, a doctor, both of Scottish descent.
House (also called House, M.D.) is an American television medical drama that originally ran on the Fox network for eight seasons, from November 16, 2004, …
here are the top sayings of Dr. Gregroy House and best Hugh Laurie quotes
Foreman: We need to remove the eye.
House: It’s her only working eye.
Foreman: We could remove the other one, but since it’s not killing her, I thought this way was less insane.
House: People interest me, conversations don’t.
Foreman: Because conversations go both ways.
Both: Like Thirteen.
House: Come on, you’re from one of the Twelve Tribes, you must know a ton of shysters.
Taub: What type of lawyer do you need? I’ll bring it up at the next world domination subcommittee meeting.
House: I want to get better. Whatever the hell that means. Sick of being miserable.
Nolan: So you’d like to be happy.
House: Again with the reflecting. Yes! I’d like to be happy.
Nolan: Being happy is an excellent goal. Not many patients can crystallize exactly what they’re hoping to get out of this.
House: You have a little devil on your shoulder told you to kill a guy. And you’ve got a little angel won’t shut up. Telling you, you’re going to burn in a lake of fire.
Chase: I’m fine!
House: You shouldn’t be! Talk to someone. Docs fixed me up in 7 weeks. You’re… 10 minutes, tops.
Chase: Guy’s a hero. He’s risking his life to put these dealers in jail.
House: I’m sure the dealers who take their places will be very grateful.
Dr. Foreman: Have you read his file?
Dr. House: I started, but I found the characters two-dimensional.
Dr. Cameron: His brain is like a waiter that’s got too many…
Dr. House: Hey! I do the metaphors!
Dr. Cameron: She’s positive for gonorrhea.
Dr. House: I think that’s the first time those words have been uttered in joy.
Nun: Sister Augustine believes in things that aren’t real.
Dr. House: I thought that was a job requirement for you people.
Dr. House: How is the nun?
Dr. Chase: Which one?
Dr. House: The cute one, I think she likes me. The sick one, obviously.
Dr. House: What makes you so sure that drugs are a mask for something else?
Thirteen: Drugs are always a mask for something else.
Dr. House [pauses] That’s the dumbest thing I have heard in my life.
[Thirteen leaves, Dr. House awards her extra points on the scoreboard]
Dr. House: You have three choices in life: be good, get good or give up. You’ve gone for column D. [Turns to the patient] Why? [Patient sighs] The simple answer is “If you don’t try, you can’t fail”.
Dr. House: I need a laser pointer.
Dr. Cameron: We don’t have a laser pointer.
Dr. House: Well, why not? Who’s going to take us seriously if we don’t have a laser pointer?
Dr. House: [to Cameron] You do know you can’t actually pierce me with your stares?
Dr. House: There’s a reason we don’t let kids vote, or drink, or work in salt mines. They’re idiots! Twenty-year-olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their oil filters. Which they should do more often.
Dr. Foreman: You stash your drugs in a lupus textbook?
Dr. House: It’s never lupus.
House: I don’t need to see the scan. I can tell from your little puppy dog eyes that his pituitary’s fine. Are you gonna say it or should I?
Taub: You were right about the steroids. You’re a genius.
House: Next time with feeling.
Wilson: What are you doing tonight?
House: Masturbating. I’d invite you, but people are already talking.
Wilson: It’s pathetic. You divide your nights between porn and the Discovery Channel.
House: Right. Playing Dance Dance Revolution is a much better choice.
Wilson: People change, House.
House: Sure. They get older, ovaries start drying up, and nice guys like you look attractive again.
Dr. Jessica Adams: I checked your file. You didn’t have a bad lawyer. You had no lawyer. You took the first deal they offered because you wanted to punish yourself. You think getting beat up, saving this one guy is going to wipe your slate clean?
Adams: Then why are you doing this?
House: Because I have a gift.
House: That look of shock is elitist and offensive. Doctors can be degenerates too. This is America.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Get this straight. You break the law, you go back to jail. Scam extra Vicodin, back to jail. Flout my authority, make the hospital look bad, back to jail. I own you.
House: Yassa, massa.
Foreman: See, that would be an example.
Adams: You said we were meeting for coffee.
House: Well, when someone asks you if you want coffee, they obviously don’t just mean coffee. Wait, did you think I was referring to sex? [to Park] Would you shut the blinds on the way out?
House: I’m not joking. You’re fired. Don’t come in tomorrow.
Dr. Remy “Thirteen” Hadley: House…
House: I can work with people who’ve got nowhere else to go. People who’ve got something to prove. People who just get off on weird cases. but I can’t work with someone who is here so she doesn’t have to feel bad.
Thirteen: You’re trying to save me.
House: Yes. I think that little of you and that much of me.
House: You’re right.
Wilson: You don’t even know what I said.
House: That is ridiculous. Blah blah blah blah blah deaf ears. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. Absolutely essential information.
Adams: Thad Barton? We only help rich white guys?
House: I am an equal opportunity exploiter. I only help those who can help myself.
Park: But it could end up causing another cardiac arrest.
House: Hopefully, and we’ll know what set it off.
Chase: What he means is, it’s better to do it here where we can revive him than have it happen somewhere else.
House: The prodigal son has returned. [hugs Chase]
Wilson: When cancer starts getting really bad…
House: Cancer’s boring.
Dr. House: War doesn’t end until Foreman’s gone.
Dr. Cuddy: Foreman’s not going anywhere.
Dr. House: And I know when my Vicodin isn’t Vicodin. Do you know when your birth control pills aren’t birth control pills?
Dr. Cole: That your breakfast?
Dr. House: Technically it’s Wilson’s lunch.
Dr. Cameron: What are you gonna do?
Dr. House: I thought I’d get your theories, mock them, then embrace my own. The usual.
Dr. Gregory House: This another pet? Cause it’s going to end badly. Again. Remember we talked about this. At least I talked, and you stared at me eerily. I think it was eerily. “Eerily” felt like the best-case scenario.
Wilson: What happened?
House: She said ‘yes’ and I heard ‘no’. I didn’t actually hear ‘no’, but I just was sure that was what she meant. What do I even care what she meant? She said ‘yes’ and that’s all that matters. ….I’m screwing this up.
Foreman: So we’re taking this case because you are a fan?
House: No, that would be crazy and unprofessional. You’re taking this case because I said so.
House: It’s uh, bowling night. He’ll never forgive me if I don’t. Oh, screw it. I’m coming.
Cuddy: No, no. no. I am not going to be responsible for that. You drugged the man, you go bowling with him.
House: Well, my chances of sex are considerably lower with Wilson.
Sophie: Isn’t that like sexual harassment?
House: Not if you are good-looking.
[after House tells the class about the lung]
Sophie: How is it even possible?
House: That’s what she said. [after noticing that the class keeps looking at him] No, seriously, she really said that.
Masters: [flashback] How is it even possible?
Wilson: Congratulations on your engagement.
House: I hear a strange voice.
Dominika: A very soft-looking man. Must be the Wilson.
Chase: You want us to waste a bed on her?
House: You took an oath… an oath to be cool. At least that was the one I mumbled under my breath while everyone else was doing the boring one.
Dr. Foreman: You have no evidence to support a poisoning diagnosis.
Dr. House: Which is why it’s going to be so cool when I turn out to be right.
Dr. House: I’m in pain.
John: Aren’t we all?
Dr. House: You can’t tell Chase but I can. What shall I do?
Dr. Wilson: Oh…This is where I give you advice and pretend you’re going to listen to it. I like this part.
Dr. Gregory House – Hugh Laurie
Dr. James Wilson – Robert Sean Leonard
Dr. Eric Foreman – Omar Epps
Dr. Robert Chase – Jesse Spencer
Dr. Chris Taub – Peter Jacobson
Dr. Remy ‘Thirteen’ Hadley – Olivia Wilde
Dr. Jessica Adams – Odette Annable
Dr. Chi Park – Charlyne Yi