How to get rid of your obnoxious friend and get away with it? That’s what’s been bothering a group of teenagers when they decided they had enough of him but that’s not so easy as it seems. Nobody can commit a perfect crime, not even among so called friends!
A pack of naïve teenagers conspire to murder a mutual friend, whose aggressive demeanor has proved too much.
Donny: Shit, I never knew nobody who killed somebody.
Alice ‘Ali’ Willis: Me neither.
Heather: Just my grandpa. I never knew him. Yeah. My grandpa was a bad drunk. Really bad. He’d rape anyone dumb enough to walk by his room and one night… he got… um, really pissed at my grandma and he took a claw hammer to her face. And, uh, after that, he just… he locked himself up with her in his room for two whole days and he kept drinking and having sex with her after she was dead. My mom was in the house the whole time.
Heather: She was only 15.
Alice ‘Ali’ Willis: Holy shit.
Heather: You know, it really messed with her head. After that, she only hung out with guys who beat the hell out of her. And when I was little, she’d get drunk and she’d drag me and my brother out of bed at, like, four in the morning and she had all the news clippings about my grandpa and the trial transcriptions and she’d read them over and over again. And I knew every word before kindergarten. I think that’s how I learned to read.
Lisa’s Mom: You guys don’t work, you don’t go to school, you don’t do anything. All you do is lay around and drive your cars and eat us out of house and home. You know how that makes me feel?
Hitman’s Brother: [to Lisa over the phone] Anyways, you all should turn yourselves in.
Lisa: Turn myself in? I might go to jail.
Hitman’s Brother: [to his father] She’s afraid they’ll go to jail.
Hitman’s Father: Tell her you’ll write to her.
Hitman’s Brother: [to Lisa] Hey man, I’ll write to you.
[Hitman’s father slams down the phone]
Marty: Turn those goddamn lights off, Ali.
Heather: [at the swamp] Are there any alligators in there?
Bobby Kent: I don’t know, why don’t you go skinny dipping and find out?
Marty: What do you want to do?
Lisa: I’ve got to ask you something, Marty. Why do you let Bobby treat you the way he does?
Lisa: Why do you let Bobby treat you like he does, hit you and stuff, and make fun of you? He disses you right to your face in front of everyone. Derek thinks you guys are queer for each other.
Marty: Yeah well, Derek’s an asshole.
Lisa: You know what? I love you.
Marty: Shut up.
Lisa: I do. I love you and I care about you and I don’t want to see you suffer. I don’t want to see Bobby picking on you ever again.
[he chokes up and cries; saliva comes from his mouth]
Marty: It’s been like this since we were little fucking kids, Lisa. He’s always been like this. Bobby always beats the fuck out of me whenever he wants and there’s not a goddamn thing I can do about it. I’ve begged my fucking parents to move…
Lisa: You could move away yourself!
Marty: I’m not even a fucking high school graduate.
Lisa: Yeah, I know, tell me about it. So there’s nothing we can do to stop him ever?
Marty: We could kill him, but that’s about it.
Lisa: [smiles] That’s what I was thinking.
Marty: What? What are you talking about?
Marty: What about Bobby?
Lisa: What if he was gone?
Marty: What kind of weird shit are you talking about?
Lisa: What if we killed him?
Marty: Are you fucking nuts?
Heather: Is he dead yet?
Donny: Getting there.
Bobby Kent: [screaming as he’s being murdered] PLEASE, MARTY! PLEASE! PLEASE!
Bobby Kent: Whatever I did… I’M SORRY!
[Lisa produces a gun]
Donny: Holy shit, what the fuck is that for?
Lisa: To kill Bobby Kent, don’t you remember?
Donny: Oh, yeah.
Lisa Connelly: The hitman needs a ride.
Alice ‘Ali’ Willis: You’re so hot.
Bobby Kent: I’m not hot, baby, I’m just big.
Bobby Kent: You call that going out?
Alice ‘Ali’ Willis: I don’t know!
Bobby Kent: I call it a fucking blowjob! A damn fine blowjob, but a blowjob all the same.
Derek Kaufman: You were his best friend so you’re gonna be the number one suspect.
Marty: Dude, that don’t make sense, man. I should be, like, the last motherfucker they suspect.
Derek Kaufman: No, you’re not a cop. You don’t know how these sick bastards think.
Bobby Kent: You enjoyed that back there, didn’t you?
Marty: No way, man, I ain’t queer like those guys.
Bobby Kent: Yeah, bullshit, bullshit, I think you like dick. You don’t gotta lie to me, boy, I know you like dick.
[talking in the court room]
Donny: I don’t even know what the fuck I’m doing here, I didn’t do shit, I don’t know what I’m fucking here for…
Marty: You stabbed him, dude. What the fuck do you want… Oh, you shut the fuck up!
Lisa: [about Bobby] He treats everyone like shit. He’s always mean. He’s always cruel. He beats you up.
Lisa: [laughs] He’s even too weird for Ali and she’s into everything! He’s the source of everybody’s troubles, Marty. And even still, he’s going to finish high school and go to college and probably get rich.
Marty: Yeah, and I’m going to be delivering pizzas to him in Weston. How would we get a gun?
Lisa: My ma has one.
Marty: Shit! That motherfucker! He’s fucking dissed me… he’s fucking treated me like shit my whole goddamn life!
Lisa: Let’s kill him.
[Marty sticks out his tongue and Lisa sucks it as she puts her arms around him]
Marty: No shit.
Derek: [shouts] Hey listen, fucker, I only helped carry the body ’cause that mafia motherfucker was gonna beat the shit out of me!
Derek Kaufman: [about Donny] Oh jeez, that guy’s fucking retarded, am I wrong?
Lisa: No no, he just gets high a lot, he’s just as normal as you and me.
Derek Kaufman: Shit, that’s may not be saying too much…
Derek Kaufman: Nature sucks.
Bobby Kent: [after Marty bumps Bobby’s car into a curb] Aw you fuck, you fucked up my fuckin car! Fuck!
Marty: [Bobby punches Marty] Watch the fuck out man! You’re gonna make me fuckin wreck!
Bobby Kent: [punching Marty again] You stupid fuck!
Marty: Aw fuck!
Bobby Kent: Piece of shit!
Marty: Motherfucker! Fuck this, man, shit!
Bobby Kent: [as Marty stops the car and walks out] Marty? Hey! Get in the car!
Marty: [on the phone with a customer] I want you to suck my big dick.
Mrs. Puccio: [from downstairs] Marty, honey, dinner!
Marty: [into the phone] I want you to lick my balls.
Donny: You guys need professional help.
Donny: What the f… what the fuck is fatalizing? Is he like dead?
Derek: No, dude, it’s like worse, dude, it’s like way worse, because, like, you have to live, man… you have to fuckin’ live and you’re a fuckin’ baby.
Bobby Kent: Damn, I should put you into consideration.
Heather: Got any tweak?
Donny: [laughs] How was rehab?
Lisa: I love you, Marty. I love you so much I can’t even believe how much I love you. I would do anything for you.