Two unlikely prospective lifeguards vie for jobs alongside the buff bodies who patrol a beach in California.
Stars: Alexandra Daddario, Dwayne Johnson, Priyanka Chopra
Baywatch Best Quotes
Matt Brody : Hey, I’m Matt Brody!
Summer Quinn : And not a single fuck was given…
Matt Brody : Ronnie, I need your help. Because as much as I know about laptops, I don’t know shit about computers…
Matt Brody : There’s no I in team, but there is a me.
Interviewer : Are you dyslexic?
Matt Brody : I’m… Caucasian.
Mitch Buchannon : How about diamond smugglers who are putting the rocks in surfboards and bringing them ashore?
Matt Brody : Everything that you guys are talking about sounds like a really, like, entertaining but far-fetched TV show.
Matt Brody : Fuck you, lady.
Victoria Leeds : [disgusted] I’ll pass.
[flaming clothing lands on Matt]
Matt Brody : That wasn’t so bad.
[a dismembered foot lands on Matt]
Matt Brody : [screams]
Mitch Buchannon : That’s good luck, pick it up.
Mitch Buchannon : My gut says there’s some bad shit going on over there, and my balls say we need to go over there and check it out.
Matt Brody : Your balls said that?
Mitch Buchannon : Yes, they did.
Matt Brody : Okay, my balls say
[in a high-pitched voice]
Matt Brody : “just take it easy right here. Just chill.”
Mitch Buchannon : Why the fuck do your balls sound like three-year-old girls?
Matt Brody : I don’t know, man. That’s just how they talk. But they’re wise.
Matt Brody : So, Dave had access to Leeds’ server.
Ronnie Greenbaum : Her server? You mean her network.
Matt Brody : Yeah, her network, that’s what I meant. Okay, so we just take a flash drive, and we plug it in, you know, get in to her cloud, and then steal all her cookies, right, and then we’re straight through the firewall.
Ronnie Greenbaum : Okay, literally none of what you said made any sense.
Matt Brody : Straight over the firewall.
Ronnie Greenbaum : It’s not, like, a physical thing you do.
Ronnie Greenbaum : She’s like some sort of modern-day J Edgar Hoover.
Matt Brody : The vacuum guy.
Ronnie Greenbaum : No.
Matt Brody : What do you mean ‘You People’?
Mitch Buchannon : You don’t get to say that. You’re just tan.
Matt Brody : Will it work? Maybe. Will there be some surprises along the way? Abso-fucking-lutely. Is anyone gonna die? I don’t know. Maybe Ronnie.
Ronnie Greenbaum : Sorry, what?
Matt Brody : You’re fucking crazy.
Victoria Leeds : If I was a man you’d call me “driven”.
CJ Parker : Brody.
Matt Brody : Hey.
CJ Parker : What are you doing?
Matt Brody : Nothing. I was just… you know, star-gazing.
CJ Parker : Under a pier?
Matt Brody : Yeah, that way.
CJ Parker : Look, you’re on the team, and, uh… I don’t want anyone on the team sleeping outside, so… Yeah, come on. You’re coming with me. Let’s go, Brody.
[as he hesitates:]
CJ Parker : Let’s go, I don’t wanna wait for you. Come on!
Summer Quinn : [after pulling him aboard] Are you okay? That was such a great plan, just to see fire and just swim right into it.
Matt Brody : [sighs] You care about me. I care about
Matt Brody : you.
[his finger touching her nose]